Sales Consultant

Now hiring for a salesperson. Only one spot available. You must meet all of the following requirements: 1. Intelligence (verify with someone) 2. Swagger (do other people want to be you?) 3. Charm (do you carry a room?) 4. Work ethic (dream about work while at home) 5. Closer (is your spouse or significant other more attractive than you? He or she doesn’t have to be hot, just hotter than you.) 6. Sarcasm (you are gonna need it to hold your own at company functions) 7. Competitive (the thought of losing makes